Happy fortieth birthday! Here is a hybrid minivan – Autoblog

577 horsepower. 590 pound-feet of torque. A fabric prime, 80-degree climate and never a cloud within the sky. On my final day on Earth as a 39-year-old, I went to sleep with a 2024 Mercedes-AMG SL 63 in my driveway. The subsequent day, I awoke firmly on the elder facet of the millennial spectrum. Outside, the modern 2+2 with a cost the scale of my mortgage had undergone a metamorphosis of its personal. Still pink, however now sporting 4 extra seats and a decidedly much less spectacular powertrain — the prudent alternative for a accountable, cost-conscious household man turning the midlife nook. Put one other manner, I awoke to actuality.

OK, in order that 2024 Chrysler Pacifica Hybrid didn’t seem in my driveway in a single day, neither is the Mercedes mysteriously unaccounted for. This was all deliberate upfront, and in protection of each Zac Palmer (who has the unenviable activity of assigning these kinds of issues) and Greg Migliore, with whom I made the change, neither knew that they had been taking the SL from me on the eve of a serious private milestone. When Greg came upon, he tried to refuse the commerce on the grounds that I’d have extra enjoyable within the Benz. Good man, Greg.

But no, this was simply too good. There aren’t many automobiles that embody the midlife disaster convertible extra comprehensively than a little bit pink convertible. I imply, have a look at Santa Claus. Poor man solely will get out every year, and that is how he chooses to do it. Who the hell am I to second-guess a man who is aware of a factor or two about making an entrance?

And definitely, it’s a automobile to be seen in. The 4.0-liter V8 barks simply loudly sufficient that passersby can’t assist however tilt their heads, however not so loud as to interrupt a curbside dinner dialog. AMG’s therapies have all the time come off as a bit heavy-handed in change for missing the sharper edges of BMW’s equivalents, however the SL63 leans towards class. Think Chris-Craft, not Cigarette boat.

On a leisurely, even cruise by way of the upscale Detroit suburbs of Birmingham and Bloomfield Hills, the SL blends in. While the neighborhoods tucked off the principle roads right here could also be house to many home auto business executives, they’re hardly home-built strongholds. You’ll see a Lamborghini Urus about as usually as not should you commute by way of this a part of the Woodward Avenue hall; the SL is about as outstanding round right here as a Prius.

But to the male within the throes of middle-aged upheaval, it’s an absolute gem, particularly in Patagonia Red. Between the V8, the universally accessible nine-speed automated and the “look honey, it has some!” again seats, it’s a superfluous monetary disaster simply clamoring to be rationalized. And maybe extra insidiously, the SL 63 makes one hell of a primary impression. From the start-up shout of the V8 to the whoosh of the smooth prime mechanism, all of it feels crisp and rehearsed — prefer it was engineered only for you.

Its delicate street manners additionally make it approachable regardless of its deep underlying functionality. A 911 Cabriolet this isn’t, however dialing up the aggression within the Sport drive modes unlocks a ton of well-disguised potential. Even tipping the scales at practically 4,300 kilos, this little droptop can boogie. It’ll do 0-60 in 3.5 seconds and hit 196 mph — loopy quick for a cabriolet — however feels utterly at house simply loping alongside in lazy night visitors. It’s the consummate cruiser. 

Unlike the Mercedes, the Pacifica is nameless in every single place, particularly in Metro Detroit. And let’s be trustworthy, subsequent to the SL 63, the Pacifica packs the charisma of threadbare cargo shorts. You can stick seven folks within the Pacifica and nonetheless have loads of room for the legs you faraway from anyone who was dumb sufficient to attempt to entry the rear bench within the Mercedes. And because it’s a plug-in hybrid, it will get someplace between 30 and infinite miles per gallon doing it. It’s nearly offensively sensible.

The factor is, the Pacifica’s PHEV setup makes it sneaky fast. It could also be fairly a bit heavier than the V6 Pacifica, however the on the spot torque makes it a hell of a sleeper. One of those will preserve the 5.3-liter Tahoe guys trustworthy on the stoplight. It’s abundantly bizarre to really feel impressed by the off-the-line punch of a front-wheel-drive minivan after spending the higher a part of per week driving a automobile with twice the ability (to not point out twice the pushed wheels). I’m unsure what to say. Welcome to the period of electrification?

Out of sheer curiosity, I took each down the identical stretch of closely pockmarked floor avenue simply contained in the Detroit metropolis limits. It’s the identical punishing stretch I exploit to judge trip high quality in our long-term loaners. The Pacifica had a tricky act to comply with; our long-term 2023 Toyota Sienna comported itself superbly alongside the identical hall. I anxious that the a lot heavier PHEV would endure; it didn’t. But the SL’s efficiency right here was the actual shock. While it didn’t provide something resembling the Pacifica’s trip high quality over this damaged asphalt, it stayed remarkably composed. Still, rating one for the cargo pants.

But this was by no means meant to be a comparability. At practically $150,000, the value unfold between these two automobiles is greater than some folks will spend on transportation of their lifetimes. And if I’m being trustworthy, it takes one thing like this to make the Pacifica Hybrid appear low-cost. MSRPs for Chrysler’s plug-in begin the place its ICE and normal hybrid opponents prime out — about $50,000. But positive, within the presence of a $205,000 Mercedes-Benz, the Pacifica may as effectively be a Maisto diecast on the clearance shelf at Target.

Effectively, I spent per week close to the extremes of a broad middle-aged way of life spectrum — an assertion that may doubtless draw ire on behalf of the extraordinarily frugal and really privileged alike. At the top of the day, I can higher relate to the man displaying off energy sliding doorways than an influence retracting convertible prime. Call me sensible and even simply plain poor, however as tantalizing because the SL could also be, 2 hundred grand goes a extremely great distance. That’d purchase me a brand new storage, a Gen 2 Dodge Viper and a pleasant truck. I’m settling for the storage, however that doesn’t imply I can’t take pleasure in SL-sized goals on my Pacifica-sized means.

It’s uncommon that life units up a joke so elegantly as this one, and I used to be glad to make myself the punch line. The story itself is a present extra precious than an additional evening behind the wheel of an undeniably cool automobile. But whereas the SL could also be someone’s midlife fantasy, it isn’t mine.

I wasn’t kidding about that storage.